Little one

Miscarriage is something I never thought I would be a part of. That horrific "club" of women who have heartbreaking stories. Well sadly on August 2, 2012 I joined that club. Only six days after I found out I was pregnant. The ER doctor told me there was the HCG hormone in my body and the baby tried to start forming but something happened. This has been a heartbreaking time for me and my husband.

In all of this though I am so blessed to have my daughter and she is such a gift from God.

I was not that far along but the thought of our second baby starting to form inside of me is mind blowing.

This has been by far one of the most emotional and trying times of my life.

I have never had bad "luck", In fact most times things go the way I want them too or happen just right. In this case it did not.

A part of me is angry and beyond upset ... the other part is understanding that the baby had something wrong with it and It is for the best.

 I can not understand why this has happened to us but I know that God does have a plan. I am not sure what His plan is yet but I guess I just have to trust Him.

I am lucky that we lost the little one so early because I don't know how I would have dealt with it if I had seen its little heart beating. When I was pregnant with Khloe that was the one thing that gave me so much comfort.

To my little one I will never meet, I love you. I will never forget you and the moment of joy I took 4 tests that had shown positive. You were wanted so badly and I know that you will always be with me.

This whole experience has made me hug Khloe  a lot tighter and thank God for her even more. I am really so lucky to have her.